I'm bored... I'm skipping school tomorrow and heading up Adam's. We will probably run around a bit, definately go to Coldstone for some mint mint chocolate chocolate chip ice cream... oh yeah eat your heart out Ben&Jerry. Then it's off to WINTER RETREAT!!!! Oh, I am so freakin excited I'm about to puke!!!!

Lark informed me today that she has been having dreams about me... joy, joy . Anyway, to those who have inquired about the prom date situation I haven't found one yet, nor have I decided on whether or not I am attending Prom. Once I reach a decision I will post and take applications for date (joking!)... but it's not for a while, I have time if I am going.

So I might post again this evening if I get packed fast. I need to make some calls and ask some questions, but I will post on Winter Retreat as soon as I get back... promise.

God Bless...

Jeebz

So I talked to my friend Jamie from Baltimore... GOD keeps getting better here's how it went.

SackAQB22: Hey man, how's things goin?
TJsgodfather1: hey
TJsgodfather1: not having a great day today
SackAQB22: I'm sorry
TJsgodfather1: i have so much going on in my life man it just feels impossible but i know God will take care of my needs
SackAQB22: God looks into the chaos and sees beauty
TJsgodfather1: im just worried i guess... i know the bible says not to worry but it's difficult at times
SackAQB22: I know, and I don
SackAQB22: Don't know what your going through
SackAQB22: But I know GOD sees your need
TJsgodfather1: i wish i could share with you what i been through and im sure when on the other end of this im going to have a tramendous testimony
SackAQB22: You will, and do
SackAQB22: Sometimes you have to go deeper into the storm to find peace in the eye
TJsgodfather1: GOD is in control of my life and i know he will see me through
SackAQB22: Yeah
TJsgodfather1: whats ur last name?
SackAQB22: Blankenship
TJsgodfather1: what is YOUR last name
SackAQB22: Blankenship
TJsgodfather1: your name is james blankenship?
SackAQB22: yup James Bryan Blankenship
TJsgodfather1: u got to be kidding me
TJsgodfather1: and you go by Jamie
SackAQB22: Yup
TJsgodfather1: dude i think i need 2 go 2 bed
SackAQB22: why?
SackAQB22: whats wrong?
TJsgodfather1: i feel like im talking 2 me
TJsgodfather1: we share the same name
TJsgodfather1: except middle
SackAQB22: really???
TJsgodfather1: yes
TJsgodfather1: thats just.. wierd
TJsgodfather1: but now i know ur a good guy
TJsgodfather1: lol
TJsgodfather1: are u messing with me?
SackAQB22: No I'm really not playin
SackAQB22: Are you?
TJsgodfather1: no, im not
TJsgodfather1: hang on ill try and find something 2 show u
SackAQB22: no I believe you
SackAQB22: Because I know this is God
TJsgodfather1: you read my myspace right?
TJsgodfather1: u know im into karate
SackAQB22: yeah
TJsgodfather1: nvm i thought my name was on this thing but it just says mr jamie
SackAQB22: GOD is so cool
TJsgodfather1: he just renewed my faith, and then some
TJsgodfather1: in a wierd way
SackAQB22: YEAH!!!!
SackAQB22: join the crowd
TJsgodfather1: yea i can see me hangen around u now... " hey jamie" we both turn around.. " blankenship" again we both look

GOD IS SO AMAZING!!!!!!

Jeebz

WOW!!!! Sorry no blog yesterday, everything was crazy, extra crazy, good crazy!!!

So I took a step back last night and reevaluated everything in my life from as unbias of a standpoint as I could reach. I found out a lot. I realized that this did happen for a reason, I've learned a lot, and that I should still have faith because, if it's GOD's will, it will happen. I will always be here, because love edures all things.

So yesterday I practiced some "Crazy Praise", yeah I'm bringing that one back..... so many fun memories. I needed some answers, and my best friend needed some answers... so I focused on her's, I've decided I can wait for mine.

I started filling out college apps yesterday. A-B and WVU, I think I'm sending them today.

So this weekend is Winter Retreat, only Adam and I are going from my church so far, unless Gary goes because there is a strict 15 yr old cutoff, but I don't think youth rally has an age...

So I talked to my friend again last night (the one who I had the convo with Mon. night) and he is amazing, this guy has been through it all, and he said I amazed him!!!! I AMAZED HIM!!! I also talked to Winkahler last night for a while... about the big GOD!!! I like talking about GOD... yes I do!

Well thats all for now...

In the eye of the storm we find rest....

Jeebz

So... Don't pay any attention to any previous posts, listen to this.

I was at my lowest today, I hated myself for what happened... and I blamed God.

Then I prayed that God would send something, anything. Then I got on here... hoping to find relief, and that's what I got...

I get an IM out of nowhere, this is how it goes.

TJsgodfather1: hi
SackAQB22: Hey, who is this?
TJsgodfather1: God wanted me to give you a scripture
SackAQB22: Okay
SackAQB22: I've been waiting on a word from God
TJsgodfather1: Psalms 9 9&10
SackAQB22: Who are you?
TJsgodfather1: my name is Jamie - i live in baltimore
SackAQB22: Jamie?
TJsgodfather1: yes
SackAQB22: How did you get my s/n?
TJsgodfather1: i don't know
TJsgodfather1: not important, i fully believe God gave it 2 me
SackAQB22: I do too.... this is what I needed
SackAQB22: My name is Jamie
SackAQB22: well James
TJsgodfather1: likewise
TJsgodfather1: nice 2 meet you
SackAQB22: and it's very nice to meet you
SackAQB22: and thank you for listening to God
TJsgodfather1: i wouldn't have it any other way
TJsgodfather1:
SackAQB22: Is it okay if I add you to my buddy list
TJsgodfather1: of course
SackAQB22: I'm going through a pretty tough time right now, and I might need someone to talk to
TJsgodfather1: u can always talk to me, keep im mind that prayer is talking too God
SackAQB22: Wow... I was all wrong
SackAQB22: I thought God wasn't talking
SackAQB22: It was me that wasn't talking
SackAQB22: God is truly amazing
TJsgodfather1: God puts people in our paths for a reason
SackAQB22: I can't believe this is happening
TJsgodfather1: where is your faith?
SackAQB22: You will never know the gravity of what God just did through you
SackAQB22: I had lost my faith
SackAQB22: I had I admit it
SackAQB22: but I just got it back
SackAQB22: and then some
SackAQB22: and just like Paul I'll make it to the other side on bits and pieces of my boat
TJsgodfather1: well then don't stop, ministry is what your heart desires
SackAQB22: I was just reminded of how truly great my God really is
TJsgodfather1: as was i a short time ago

God is truly amazing....

Jeebz

No update in a while I know... but things have been going rather terrible around here. I found out the secret that everyone has been keeping my grandma might have cancer... she has surgery for it soon to biopsy the tumor and see...

My dad isn't doing well, I've been having to pick up the slack around here for the past few weeks. He's always been pretty proud, so it's to simple for him just to go to the hospital and get help...

Then there's my music, I can't play anymore.... Everytime I try to play something I mess up, or even worse I totally forget the song. I packed up my instruments Friday and told Bryan whenever he wanted to come and pick them up I didn't want them anymore... I hurt when I look at them... it's amazing how something that once caused so much joy can cause so much pain.

So my life pretty much sucked when today began, with one exception.... so I called the one person who could make things right, the one person who would understand... then the light at the end of the tunnel went out.

It's amazing how something so perfect, so incrediable, can cause you so much pain. They were right... I was a fool. I was crazy to dream and never think of the way things had to be. I was wrong for telling my secrets to someone. I was dumb for trusting someone enough to let them hurt me. I gave away my heart, and although it's lying on the ground in a million pieces every one of them is still her's... and I hate myself for that. I hate myself for being weak. I hate myself for being different than everyone else. I hate myself for, even when I knew this was coming, not ending it on my terms, not stopping with the ball on my end of the court, because I didn't want to hurt her. Most of all, I hate not being able to hate her, I could never do that. I made a promise to love her forever, and I can't lie to her.

Jeebz